"Let Go"

Letting go is always hard no matter the circumstances in which you do it. Whether it's moving to a new city, leaving the comfort and security of your parents' home to live on your own, or the end of a relationship, letting go of what's familiar, what's loved, what's comfortable is always hard.

In Ep. 84, "Un diagnóstico peregrino," the hearts of PepSi fans everywhere broke during what Dr. Booker refers to as "the helicopter scene." Silvia has just discovered that Pepa slept with Aitor. While Silvia knows that Pepa would "fill (her) house with flowers and come down from a helicopter to (her) bed and fill Madrid with (her) name on every bridge" she simply asks one thing from Pepa: for Pepa to let her go. Silvia cried, Pepa cried, I think even that "Cold Hard Bitch" Sara cried, and many PepSi fans cried with them.

Of course, Pepa, being Pepa, couldn't just "let go" like Silvia asked. At least not right away. In Ep. 86, "Un adosao con vistas," we learn that Pepa had been inundating Silvia with flowers and phone calls in an attempt to win Silvia back. In a last ditch effort, she filed mobbing charges against Silvia, seeing it as her only option of getting Silvia to talk to her. At the hearing, Pepa is her usual smug, rebellious self. That is until she learns that Silvia filed a sexual harrasment charge against her and was seeking a restraining order. Pepa is no loner smiling - the hurt and pain is obvious in her face. And when she tells the judge (and Silvia), "I'm not going to be able to comply with that order. Not because I don't want to, but because I can't. Because I can't stand the thought of being more than 2 centimeters away from (Silvia)" you know she means it. But I think this was the moment that Pepa realized she had to do what Silvia asked her - she had to let her go. She needed Silvia to have some time, some space. She needed to let Silvia come back to her on Silvia's own terms. And in order to do that, she had to let go.

Ep. 104 marked another period of letting go for Pepa and for PepSi fans. It's been over six months since that dreaded episode, and in one day we will all get to see how Pepa has been dealing with the fallout from her wedding. The promos have showed us that there will be grief, anger and vengence. But there are also signs that we will get to see remnants of the Pepa we love - a smiling, laughing Pepa - and as hard as it will be to watch her live without her pelirroja, her princesa, her wife by her side, this is a good thing IMO. It's a sign that while Pepa will never forget her wife or the love that they shared, she can still find the beauty and goodness in a world without Silvia. Perhaps S9 will be cathartic for all PepSi fans as we try to let go of Silvia and the loss of PepSi. Maybe watching Pepa's journey from her grief to finding a point of peace will help us do the same. And maybe, just maybe we will also be able to find some beauty in the breakdown. Even if it is during those few seconds when Pepa flashes one of her trademark smiles and we find ourselves smiling with her.

kalike

*The title for this lecture is based on the song "Let Go" by Frou Frou.

PS. I wanted to wish Dr. Booker a very, very Happy Birthday. It has been an honor for me to have been able to get to know you and bask in the glow of your wondrous brain.