THE WAY WE WERE

In the summer of 2009, I officially joined the growing number of LHDP fans on the AE forum. I did it for one reason: I was in so much pain from the death of Silvia Castro. I needed to "talk" with people who loved this character like I did. I wanted to share my love for Pepa and Silvia with others who shared my passion for this storyline.

I can say with confidence that it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

When I look back to the very beginning of Pepsi--to the introduction of Pepa Miranda and then to the terrible death of Silvia Castro, I can clearly see why I loved this show. I have written many lectures and posts on why this storyline worked and why it was historic. We all know how rare it is to find a television show that is respectful, fair and intelligent when it comes to gay characters especially a lesbian love story.

I have stated repeatedly that American TV doesn't allow women to look at each other like Pepsi did. To touch each other. To kiss. And to simply talk. We were fortunate to be there for this magnificent ride.

I look back on Pepsi episodes as the good old days. How many music videos were made dedicated to these two characters? Their scenes were studied like they were specimens in a CSI lab. We wrote about fingers touching fingers, unspoken looks, types of kisses, the clothes they wore, the times they made us laugh and cry, and the many moments that we saw how it must be to be loved.

We were sad and angry with Silvia's death. We felt betrayed by a television show that we loved. This was a show that we believed finally got it right. Here were producers and writers who were committed to a good lesbian story. This was reason to celebrate and we did, by watching each episode in anticipation of new Pepsi scenes.

And now, we are pissed. We are angry about the many changes in LHDP, and not just because of Pepa's storyline. Many of us debated whether we would watch this season without Silvia, but most of us said that we would because of Pepa and we were simply curious.

But the producer put a knife in our hearts and then he, with the same knife, he hoped to remove our brains. It is impossible to watch season 9 with any intelligence or romance. They took what we loved about the show and destroyed it.

Does it surprise anyone that my favorite episode in this season was the return of Silvia? When they write for Pepsi, there is beauty in the words and in the silence.  In those brief ghost scenes there is an intensity that has been lacking in this season and it is obvious that the show has lost its way.

We have been searching for the heart, smartness and humor of LHDP and we finally have to admit that the search is over. The show was over when Silvia died.

Her death scene was symbolic for the death of of the show. It was bloody, painful and unbelievable to watch, just like season 9.

My esteemed colleague Dr. Piper is justified in her anger. All of us should be angry because one man (Alex Pina) destroyed a show and now it is over. At the end of season 8 four actors were no longer were working on the show. At the end of season 9, everyone involved with LHDP is unemployed. As they say, he couldn't have screwed this up more...if he had tried.

Dr. Booker

LESBIANS AND THE BIG BANG

When I have a had a bad day at work, and I want to let off some steam or I want to forget my troubles, I am going to go to a bar, pick up a guy and bang him until the sun comes up. If I went on a business trip, and I met a man at a conference and he came on to me and I did nothing to resist his charms, I would go to his hotel room and I would slip out before the wake up call came.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with these scenarios. I am an adult, it was consensual sex and condoms were used. The only problem is that I am a lesbian. A lesbian. I am someone who is attracted to women--physically and emotionally. People who know me, know that I am a lesbian. In fact, I am surprised that there isn't a big L on my driver's license. I am the kind of lesbian that likes George Clooney--I think he is attractive and appealing, but I do not have any romantic notions about him. I see what straight women see in him, but I would like him as a friend, not a lover. And that is because...I am a lesbian.

I am the kind of lesbian who has no problem watching romantic films about straight couples or reading a love story about a man and a woman. That has been our media and culture for many years, that is what has been available to us. But I was the lesbian who would dream about a Pride and Prejudice where Mr. Darcy was just Darcy--a beautiful mysterious woman. I would wonder why Sally couldn't meet another Sally? I would always hope for a time in my life where lesbians would have their stories told and eventually that did happen. There have been wonderful films in the last few years that have shown lesbians as real people. The publishing world has finally discovered that lesbians love romances and television has slowly found its spine. Television executives now know that lesbians can help ratings or at least not hurt ratings.

But the thing that continues to piss off this lesbian is this ridiculous idea that lesbians will continue to have sex with men--as a way to cope with stress, to show they have or need power over men, and a way to confirm that they are indeed a lesbian.

This leads me to Pepa. LHDP shook up our world with her having butcher block sex in the kitchen with Aitor. I hated this storyline for two reasons: it was just stupid for Pepa to believe that she had to get pregnant "the old fashioned way" and she then had sex with Aitor because she was drunk and distraught.

I know lesbian couples who have gone to the sperm bank, chosen a donor, brought home the sperm in a cooler, purchased a new turkey baster and the greatest hits of Enya. They light some candles, make love, open sesame and hello sperm! No shots, no doctors and no stirrups. All of Pepa's fears were without base. But the bigger issue is that Pepa was a lesbian who was in love with a woman, and in her lowest moment she had sex with a man. And now there is talk that Pepa could be doing that again in Season 9.

I will accept Pepa doing this as long as straight men will turn to men in times of stress. When I see a straight stud make a move on a gay man, then I will see more of a balance in storytelling. To actually believe that a lesbian is lusting, fantasizing or even horny for a man's body is as hard to believe as George Clooney seducing Rupert Everett--because he had a bad day.

I am not saying that every lesbian in the world has not ever been with a man. I am saying that when a film or TV show has one or two lesbians, they should be lesbian, with "lesbian tendencies". They should be women loving women. If the world media overwhelmingly represents the straight life, is it too much to ask for a few good lesbians? To show lesbians who only want to make love to lesbians? To show lesbians walking in the house and yelling "honey, I'm home" and there comes another lesbian around the corner with a smile on her face. Am I being too pushy to ask for a lesbian wedding that doesn't have buckets of blood?

Because there has been such a struggle for equality and fair representation in the media for gays and lesbians, it is disheartening and unsettling to hear about another wonderful beautiful lesbian who will have meaningless sex with a man. Whey can't she have meaningless sex with a woman?

No woman could love Silvia the way Pepa did and then say "I am in mourning for my woman, so I will now have sex with men." That is not how lesbians mourn. Lesbians mourn like everyone else--we cry, we eat, we drink, we sleep, and we are tremendously sad. We are not shagging, banging or blowing men.

Let Pepa be a lesbian. Let lesbians be lesbians.

Don't let the door hit you in the butt

The other day I watched the new long promo for Season 9 and I realized that Sara was not in it. This shocked me and thrilled me at the same time. I have never been a fan of Sara and I will not miss her in the coming season.

I want to make it clear that I do understand the difference between a character and an actor and my issues are directed at the character of Sara and her actions in the LHDP story lines.

We do know that Sara, at 15, had a huge crush on Lucas - even though he was twice her age and her uncle/ex uncle. That crush developed to the point where she had tunnel vision when it came to Lucas. She literally would do anything to get him, and if that meant lying to her parents or breaking the law, she would do it.

Sara had always been daddy's little girl and she was adored by her abuelo--Don Lorenzo. We would see this very tough man turn into a marshmallow in front of our eyes when it came to Sara. As for Lola, she was a tougher audience and she knew Sara very well. But still, Sara had found a way around her mother too.

Here are just two examples of Sara's philosophy of the "ends justify the means"--the only reason there was a Pepsi hangar scene, was that they were investigating the shooting of Montoya and Rita (and they were shot at by Lucas and Sara!):

During the strip joint episode, Sara basically betrayed her father to and set him up... as she was conspiring with Lucas again.

There are so many reasons why she rubbed me the wrong way. Did she really love Aitor or was she using him as a bench warmer for Lucas? Later on, she had an affair with Aitor, wore Silvia's wedding dress, and had a pretend wedding with him--while she was married to Lucas.

In fairness to Sara, she did have her good moments and those were during the Pepa and Silvia episodes when they had broken up. She showed a more mature and thoughtful side and we believed that she truly wanted them to get back together. She was a central character in one of my favorite episodes--I call it the helicopter scene--we knew that Sara wanted what we wanted.

I have stated in past lectures that it was important to show Don Lorenzo approved of Pepa and Silvia's relationship. This was a great message to older viewers in Spain. But I also think it was important for young boys and girls to see that Sara supported her two aunts and that she had no problem with them.

Having said all that, I can now focus on the absolute worst moment in Sara's history on the show. In episode 104, Sara ruins the wedding reception by having her husband and her lover together at the same table. Aitor deserved to be shot for his poutish behavior, but it was Sara who created this mess and brought it to the wedding.

When she steps out to smoke (who knew she smoked?) her life is saved by sharp shooter Pepa.

Here is the moment that I find unforgivable: at the end of this episode, during the song where she is outside along with her husband and lover, she knows that Silvia could die. And she hears Pepa's cry "no!" - everyone knows what that cry means. What does Sara do? The shooting has stopped, the bad guys are either dead or gone, and Sara has to choose between the two men. She doesn't rush into the house to check on her father. her three dead friends, or her aunts. Instead she walks off with Lucas. Like she is Dorothy skipping down the yellow brick road with Toto.

I imagine that the actress actually said to the director and producers "this doesn't feel right. Why am I not worried about the people in the house? Why aren't all of us going into the house?" I think that must have been asked on the set that day, because it was such a ridiculous choice that someone had to have raised the question.

But I think they wanted the shot of Sara and Lucas walking away. That was more important than the death of Silvia and the three others. It was a moment that was not only stupid but insulting to all of the viewers.

So that is why I am not sad that Sara is gone. Episode 104 was traumatic enough for us and we didn't need to be reminded of the selfish side of Sara. Remember, her friends were dead. She had no idea how her father was or how the others were. But she knew that Silvia had died and that Pepa and her abuelo were dealing with this tragedy. Her love life was more important. So go off with Lucas and have the life you dreamed of. I know I am ready to move on from the chronicles of Sara.

THE BOOMERANG OF LOVE

Do you believe that Pepa will and can fall in love again? Was the love between Pepa and Silvia so strong and unique that it would be better if A. Pepa never loved again, or B. Pepa had died with Silvia.

This debate about the future of Pepa and her love life, is a valid one. It asks the question: is there a second chance at love? Do you have the right, after death, divorce or a break up, to fall in love again? And if you fall in love again, does that then negate the earlier relationship?

Here at Pepsi University, people know two things about me (and yes, some know even more!): I am a romantic and a major fan of Silvia Castro. The death of Silvia was devastating to me and even the knowledge that she was a fictional character, did not diminish the pain. I, like so many others, believed that Pepa and Silvia would be together forever. The idea of either woman being involved with someone else was absolutely ridiculous to me.

It has been six months since Silvia's death and it is appropriate to wonder about Pepa's future. She obviously needs to grieve her tremendous loss and to seek revenge. What happens when El Gordo and his evil army are taken care of? Pepa goes back to work, she sits on a bar stool, and then what? Do we want her to lead a sad, empty and possibly angry life? Or do we want to see the smile that lit up our hearts and the city of Madrid?

I believe in love. I believe in being in love. I believe that falling in love is one of the best feelings in the world. To find someone who loves you as much as you love them, is a wonderful gift.

To have moments when not a word is spoken, and yet all is understood. To hold the hand of the woman you love, and truly believe that all is well in the world. And to be part of a couple...sharing the jokes, comforting each other, kissing a thousand sweet kisses, and then to know that at the end of the day you will be in each other's arms...that is love.

How can we deny Pepa another chance at love? The second relationship will not be like the first--mainly because the partners have changed. Pepa is a little older and hopefully, a little wiser. Just because Pepa moves on, does not mean she has forgotten Silvia . It is because of Silvia that she loves again. She knows the power of love and she aches to have it again. She will fall in love because she will not be able to resist the unstoppable force. I don't know when it will happen, but it will happen.

Imagine this scene...Pepa is at Cachi's and is sitting at the bar, drinking her first beer of the night. A woman walks in who Pepa has never seen before. Pepa feels something and she is not sure what it is. Something comes over her body..an intake of breath, a fluttering in her heart, or her knees go weak...something stirs in Pepa and she knows one thing for sure: she has to meet this woman. The woman sits at a table by herself and Pepa has no idea if she is waiting for someone. All the boldness and bravado of being Pepa has escaped and she just sits on the bar stool...waiting. The woman is looking through her purse and she drops her keys. Before the woman has a chance of pick them up, Pepa is there. She picks up the keys and puts out her hand and says "Hola".

The Pepa we know is back. She is stepping away from sadness, fear and anger. It has begun.

LITTLE CABIN IN THE WOODS

There are two kinds of people in the world: one who likes surprises and is thrilled by the unexpected and other person who finds comfort in a controlled situation. We all know where Pepa and Silvia fit in.

This episode is significant for a number of reasons. First, Pepa and Silvia have their first fight, they act like they are a couple, we see their first and only bed scene (and two women are actually in bed and touching on TV-hello!) and Silvia comes out to her father. Where to begin?

For this lecture, I am focusing on the events that take place at the "Pepa Hideaway". Pepa has made up a story about the Kaiser as she has to get Silvia to the cabin for their romantic rendevouz. Pepa has arranged a lunch and a hopeful liason in a twin bed. This is an unusual cabin, as its walls and furniture kind of change throughout the show, but who really cares? Silvia believes that she is going to catch the Kaiser and clear Sara.

Their argument demonstrates how different these two women are. Pepa calls Silvia rigid and Silvia agrees, stating that someone has to be the responsible one. Pepa knows how stressed Silvia is and believes she needs a break--she reminds her that it is their two month anniversary and what better way to celebrate it than with this surprise? Pepa and Silvia are two sides of a coin--each side is different, but together they make something that is unique and perfect.

When Silvia demands the car keys, Pepa pretends to throw them in the bushes. She knows that she can't let Silvia leave and this impulsive act delays Silvia's exit and naturally, it really pisses Silvia off.

Silvia has been searching for quite awhile and she is hot, sweaty and has sticks in her hair--but she is still adorable. Pepa apologizes and asks for forgiveness and begs her to eat lunch. Silvia is angry, but she is also hungry and thirsty, and that is why she agrees to sit down with Pepa.

The next scene is one of my favorite PepSi moments. I smile when I see Silvia so calm and happy--because she has eaten and is still drinking the wine. The beast in Silvia has been tamed. Pepa asks her how many lovers she has had and Silvia tells her about the five men she has slept with. Pepa then shares her numbers: twelve/thirteen men and about forty women. Silvia's reaction is beyond funny. She blinks her eyes and gulps her wine as she tries to be so nonchalant and cool.

Pepa is her first female lover, but she realizes that she is Pepa's 41st. She admits that it makes her feel insecure. Pepa, in a very tender moment, tells Silvia the difference between Silvia and the other women is that she is now in love...it is like "the first time". And Silvia agrees and admits that it is her like her first time too. The shared look of silence is loud and clear--they are with whom they want to be with.

The following scene is one more reason that LHDP is a TV rule breaker. We hear the PepSi theme song, Soul Ghost, and there they are naked under the luckiest sheets in all of Spain. It's not necessary to detail all of the moments in this scene, as if I was a sports commentator. But I do want to make a few observations:

• the focus on their hands is not an accident, as this is the scene that began all the camera shots of their intertwined hands in many future episodes
  

• the magnificent back of Laura Sanchez cannot be ignored. Her back is like an atlas that I wish my hands could travel
  

• the biggest impression of this scene is the way they constantly look at each other. Their eyes never leave each other, their looks are intense and very intimate
  

• LHDP is making a statement with this scene: this is about two women who love each other...this is a love scene and not a sex scene ( I know how hot it is, I know)

At the end of this scene, Pepa and Silvia are laughing. Why? My guess (and hope) is that they had multiple and loud orgasms that even surprised them... and maybe even some creatures in the bushes too.

Here is my take on the appearance of Don Lorenzo and feel free to disagree with me. I think that DL and Jose Luis, after seeing the women in bed together, went back to the car and waited. Could have DL have heard the women and believed that they were done and were ready for story time? Did DL believe that it was safe to come back to the cabin and confront his daughter? I do not believe he saw anything more than the women laughing and rolling around--nothing more.

He made his presence known by picking up the chair and that startles the women. Silvia dives under the sheets and peeks her head out when her father says "Silvia". She sits up, as Pepa is already up and looking like a scared little girl. Silvia sees this and pauses, and then puts her arm around Pepa. She looks down and then raises her eyes to her father and her gaze never falters. He knows what she is saying without speaking a word: "this is who I love, this is who I want and this is who I am prepared to fight for."

When DL starts talking about Silvia's mother throwing out appliance manuals, Silvia thinks her father has lost his mind. It is only after he talks about the important things in life not having manuals that Silvia sees where her father is going.

DL eloquently admits that he is a hard man, he is turning 60 and he is looking at life differently now. During this monologue, Silvia faces her father and Pepa (still nervous) keeps checking on Silvia.

 DL wishes the best for both of them. Silvia blinks in gratitude and Pepa smiles while her eyes fill up.

During this entire speech, Silvia never takes her arm away from Pepa. At the end his speech, when Silvia realizes that her father is not angry and is actually accepting her and Pepa, her hand begins to dance on Pepa's shoulder. Her hand shows us the relief and joy that Silvia feels. As DL leaves, Silvia looks at Pepa, they smile and Silvia leans into her woman.

This scene between the two women and Don Lorenzo was essential to this show. In previous lectures, I have discussed why it was important for Silvia to make the first moves. The show needed to tell the audience that their "beloved straight Silvia" wanted Pepa and that she was not forced into this relationship. But the show also needed to have its biggest star and patriarch endorse this couple. The Spanish viewers needed to know that Don Lorenzo was okay with this. What a powerful message this was to the audience--not only was Silvia okay with this big change in her life, but so was her sister, brother in law and her father.

We can appreciate many milestones in this episode, and once again, be profoundly grateful for these wonderful characters and actors.

To see two women in love...to see them kiss and touch each other....to see them fight and make love....to see them never lose sight of each other...that makes us fortunate viewers, indeed.

Dr. Booker

Booker Bonus: I just want to comment on the actors and the filming of the bed scene. First, I wonder how many out takes there were and where are they now? It is obvious that Laura and Marian were looking out for each other. Both were aware of the sheets and what was covered (there was one little mishap) and not covered. But the simple act of Silvia sitting up and Pepa/Laura helping her with the sheet, was it the actor or the character? No matter what, it looked natural.

Finally, the crew had quite a challenge with Marian's hair--if it fell around her, we would miss her face, and that just could not be. So Laura helped her out quite a bit. Imagine this scene with Marian's new hair cut--Laura's hands would be free for other things.

THE I OF WE

When you are in love, it is very hard to hide your true feelings. Little things become big things. A gesture, a look, a touch--it all becomes heightened when you are trying to hide your feelings.

Being in love means that you want to write her name on every bridge in your hometown. You see her everywhere you go. You smell her. You see her smile. Songs become love songs when they used to be just....songs.

What if you have fallen in love with a co-worker? What if you are secretly sleeping together and trying to steal time? What if one of you is at ease with being a lesbian and the other is experiencing her first lesbian love affair?

If you are Silvia Castro you are dealing with a range of emotions. Being involved with Pepa is like Dorothy stepping onto the land of Oz. Silvia knew her life only in black and white and now her world is vibrant with colors she had only imagined.

So she wants to take it slow. She wants to keep Pepa a secret. Revealing the truth will be a shock to members of her family and to her colleagues. But most of all, revealing the truth means that Silvia faces who or what she is. She is a beautiful and successful woman who has only been with men, and yet she has fallen for Pepa. Big time.

There are two scenes to discuss in this lecture. First, Pepa and Silvia are at a crime scene and Pepa shows her a photo of a house that they can borrow for the weekend.

Silvia tells Pepa that she has dinner plans with her father, but she will make up a story to get out of it and be with Pepa. It is obvious that Pepa doesn't like this solution and Silvia is quite of herself for coming up with a convincing lie. There is a significant moment in this scene when Pepa touches Silvia's face and Silvia whispers "don't touch me"--as there are people around them and no one knows about their relationship.

No me sobes

The second scene is the next day when Silvia finds Pepa at Cachis, as she is looking for Paco (by the way, this is a busy episode for Silvia. She has great scenes with Salgado and Mariano, as well). She asks Pepa if she is upset about what she had said in their previous conversation and Pepa tells Silvia that she was right--she shouldn't have touched her in public. But she doesn't like the fact that Silvia feels she has to lie in order to spend time with Pepa.

Silvia says that Pepa is free to tell anyone in her life about them, but she cannot meddle in Silvia's life. Pepa immediately tells Julian and the customers that she and Silvia are together...Silvia's face is priceless.

Pepa then tells Paco (who already knows thanks to a keyhole in his house--the infamous bathroom scene where they just stared at each other's bras and sang Chicki Chicki--and no sex happened). Not only does Pepa tell Paco, she also kisses Silvia. Silvia is fighting back a smile and doesn't seem angry by this outing, maybe just irritated. And Pepa doesn't care, she is having the time of her life.

This is exactly why Silvia loves Pepa. Pepa takes her out of her controlled enviroment. And as scary as it can be, Silvia loves the thrill of a Pepa Ride.

And the moment, the moment that made my jaw drop and then cheer this outrageous show....the moment that I asked myself why can't American TV be like this this? With a smile on her face, Silvia gives Pepa the finger and Pepa gives her a wonderful air kiss.

The title of this lecture comes from being a secret couple:

    
     What are you doing this weekend? We...I... am going to the beach.

     Where are you going for the holiday? We..I... am visiting my family.

We catch ourselves. The world doesn't know that you are part of a couple. The world doesn't know that you don't sleep alone. The world doesn't know that you long to hold her hand as you cross the street. The world doesn't know that you know how she washes her hair and that her pajamas don't match. The world doesn't know a thing. And so the we becomes an I. Just an I.

Someday you will know when you are ready. When it is safe. We all need a Pepa to nudge us and we all need a Silvia to protect us. It is a glorious moment in your life, when you can say "we". You will become part of a "we". Then you can take her hand, brush the hair from her face and point to a bridge and say "look, our names."

Dr. Booker

BABY STEPS

There is beauty in film. There are scenes that exemplify beauty and you know that you have seen something unique. Each of us have different opinions of what that beautiful moment is. I think there is beauty in the dancing of Laurel and Hardy. The scene of the girl in the red coat is a moment of beautiful black and white film making. There is beauty in Barbra Streisand brushing away Robert Redford's hair while he sleeps on a bar stool. Sometimes the beauty of a scene is in its simplicity. It must have sharp writing and direction and actors who can not only tell a story with dialogue, but with silence.

This is a lecture that I never thought I would write. How could I write about a perfect scene that is a thing of beauty? This scene is always mentioned as one of the most popular among fans. I do think it is one of the best Pepa and Silvia scenes and I think that is why I cannot avoid this lecture any longer. Three words come to mind with this scene: strength, vulnerability and trust.

It all takes place in an empty space that looks like an airplane hangar or warehouse. Two cops are working a crime scene, both are wearing yellow vests and have their hair pulled back. That is what we see on the surface, but we know so much more. We know that Pepa and Silvia are dipping their toes in the "relationship waters". We know that Silvia was hesitant about her attraction to Pepa, but after talking to Jose Luis, she seems ready to move forward. In my mind, Silvia left Jose Luis, and raced into Pepa's arms. I will go out on a limb and say that since that episode, they have been together like little Spanish bunnies.

There are four acts to this scene.

Act One--As they are working the crime scene, they share a moment when Silvia gives Pepa a smile and we know that they are "together". But when Pepa tries to kiss Silvia (and they are alone), Silvia backs away.

Act Two--Silvia tells Pepa that she feels like a "fish out of water" and that she is not concerned about what her father would say. She is trying to see herself in this relationship. How does she do things that she never had to think about before? She uses the examples of holding hands, getting a hotel room and kissing in public. All of her concerns are real and valid for a woman in her situation. Silvia articulates her fears and shows her vulnerability....she doesn't hide that she is scared. How does she continue to love Pepa? How do they leave the privacy of the bedroom and step out into the real world? How does a woman who has only been with men, now be openly in love with a woman?

This is Pepa's moment and it is a good one. Pepa listens to Silvia and doesn't interrupt or minimize her feelings. She tells her that she will stand by her, and that she needs to focus only on her, because she is the one who can help her. Pepa shows her a deep strength that says that not only will I help you, but I will not leave your side. And then....Pepa put out her hand.

Act Three--Women all over this planet wanted to take this walk with Pepa and Silvia. Pepa tells Silvia that walking together is not so scary. Look at how nice the park is, how beautiful the ocean is...all the things you love are still here. There are just to the two of us walking together, enjoying the view.

Pepa puts her arm around Silvia and Silvia puts her arm around Pepa. Pepa then asks her if she is cold and Silvia answers that she is fine. My understanding of that moment is that Silvia has trembled--not because she is cold, but because she is overwhelmed by this moment. But no matter what, we see Pepa as the protector, as the one who will protect her novia from all the elements, whether they be physical or emotional. Silvia is safe.

Act Four--They are now running to the make believe train station and Pepa wants a kiss goodbye. The idea of kissing Pepa in public is unimaginable to Silvia. This scene is approached with humor, but most of us know that this is a real issue. No matter what Silvia says ("what will the nuns think?"), Pepa shoots down her worries. When Pepa suggests that they could be apart for two weeks, Silvia gives up.

(Dos semanas tanto?)

The thought of being separated is simply too hard to imagine. She kisses Pepa and with a smile on her face, Pepa kisses her back. After the first kiss, Pepa tells Silvia that they cannot be apart, and they kiss again.

This kiss was a big hit with viewers and was a YouTube sensation. What was the big deal? In the last episode they had kissed in the lab, but it was mainly Pepa being the aggressor and the kisses were pretty quick. In the hangar, Silvia makes the first move. She puts her arms around Pepa and opens her mouth....and our mouths opened in awe. This was Silvia saying that she believes in Pepa, that she trusts her and that she loves her. This was the moment that they became a couple.

PepSi became known for their unspoken moments and it all started in the bathroom. The writers knew that they had many golden moments with these two actors and it became a thread throughout their story line on LHDP. When Pepa takes her hand and they begin to walk, Siliva gives her a look of pure adoration. They can't keep their eyes off of each other.

This scene, this episode, was letting us know that the journey was just beginning. This was not about women lusting after each other in the bathroom. This wasn't two women making out in the lab. This was going to be a story of two women who fall in love and who try to keep it a secret. But it was also about how one woman discovers that the bond of love and trust is more powerful than all of her fears.

This was the moment, in my opinion, that PepSi was born. These two glorious women became one. This episode aired on May 27, 2008 and that is when the journey began. Fans all over the world packed their bags. We were so ready to be with them every step of the way.

I humbly submit this lecture with the hope that you will appreciate this scene even more than you did before. And to honor Pepa and Silvia, take the hand of someone you love and take a walk. Just walk.

Dr. Booker

P.S. The three films mentioned: Way out West, Schindler's List and The Way we Were.

I SEE YOU

I forgive you and I love you

These sentiments are never said in this episode, but those emotions are clearly shared by Silvia and Pepa.

In this lecture, we are focusing on the two hospital scenes where Curtis is definitely the third wheel in the room. Silvia and Pepa have not spoken since the "I only want to have a baby with you" episode (the other garage scene) that aired March 11. This hospital episode aired April 15, so we have all been waiting patiently for their reunion.

Silvia knows that Pepa is upset about Curtis and that she is not herself. Silvia comes to the hospital out of concern for Pepa. This is also her chance to tell her that she has forgiven her for the Aitor kitchen incident (that I still deny happened) and to tell her that she loves her.

So what does Silvia do? She lets Pepa talk, she questions the actions of Curtis during the shooting, and she makes Pepa laugh.

There is a wonderful look between them after Pepa has laughed and she just looks at Silvia with such happiness and shows a glimmer of hope that Silvia will take her back. Silvia gives Pepa this long look and she seems overwhelmed by the laughter, the smiles and the reality of knowing how much she loves this woman. She loves Pepa. It is as simple as that. This scene is the ice breaker and it was up to Silvia to reach out to Pepa. Pepa had done everything possible to let Silvia know that she was wanted and it took this strange shooting to bring them together.

Now we have the second scene in the hospital, the one that has very few words. This is the kind of scene that should be shown in acting classes around the world. Because we know the Pepsi history,we know that there have been enough words. The power...the impact of this scene is the fact that there is barely any dialogue. Taking the words away strips bare the emotions and this is when there are no games, no jealousy, no fake pregnancy, no harassment charges, and no anger. This is the moment when Silvia opens her heart even further.

What does Silvia see when she first sees Pepa sleeping? She sees the woman she has lived with for over a year. She sees the woman she woke up to every morning. She sees Pepa sleeping on her right side just like she did in their bed.

This image moves her to come to Pepa, to cover her with the blanket. She delicately pushes her hair out of her face and then strokes her cheek. Just look at Silvia's face and you can see what she has missed and what she is remembering. She sees the mouth that has kissed her, she sees the hands that have held her and made love to her. And she touches those hands in wonder. She smiles.

At this pivotal moment, Silvia has slipped her hand into Pepa's, and Pepa begins to wake up. Silvia sees this and does NOT take her hand away. She waits a few seconds and then walks away.

Pepa crosses to Silvia and touches her. But Silvia senses her before she is touched, and she has such a look of peacefulness and pure love.

Pepa does not move. She waits for Silvia, who comes to Pepa, always looking her in the eye, they kiss and they kiss again. And then the wonderful hug which seals the deal. I believe that Silvia was going to kiss Pepa again, but Curtis ruined her chance. The look of joy on both of their faces was a mirror of the Pepsians' collective smiles around the world.

By now we have watched the famous bathroom scene multiple times. It is one of the best Pepsi scenes ever. So it is no surprise that the writers and director decided to pay homage to that scene by reversing the positions of the two women in the hospital reconciliation. This moment is their relationship coming full circle, this is their reunion. In the bathroom scene and this scene, Pepa's inner monologue is the same: "Be still. She needs to come to me. She needs to tell me that she is ready...ready to accept my love."

The strength of the hospital scenes lies with the fabulous faces of Marian and Laura. Look at Marian's entrance with the food...look at the range of emotions on Marian's face...this is what is called..acting.

These two scenes are all about Silvia seeing Pepa clearly. This is Silvia seeing how much Pepa means to her and how much she needs her. Seeing her, touching her and holding her - she sees all of her doubts and fears on the surface and they are all dismissed for one reason -- she loves and trusts Pepa.

And Silvia finally realizes that that is all that matters.

Dr. Booker

Piper's Note: The dramatic soundtrack is called Remembrance by the late British composer Ian Hughes.

Marian Aguilera, Laura Sanchez, Pepa, Silvia