BMF'S FOOD COLUMN!

Absence...what absence?... I dont know what you are talking about Dr.Piper *runs to Angies cow barn to hide*

Good evening my darling students! You will be pleased to know I am back from rehab and all my AA meetings have been going very well so I will not show up to lectures smelling of vodka! You may ask me why I have been getting so drunk?? Well the truth is, as the new season draws nearer, I get sadder because my darling Silvia will not be making an appearance…However, the best way to get over a heart break is to enjoy one of the many pleasures in life …FOOD..or clotted cream to be precise! As you all know, I have a slight obsession with Clotted cream. There is sooooo much you can do with the stuff (including spreading it on various areas of various bodies).

In this lecture, we will be cooking with it, not using it in kinky sex games, vale?? I have emitted scones from this lecture for the obvious reason that azwombat posted a recipe on the thread already.

Three ways with clotted cream…

1. Slow baked clotted cream rice pudding
    (does that sound sensual or is it just me?)

25g butter100g short grain pudding rice450ml full-fat milk ( no skimmed RUBBISH...I hate the stuff, it should be banned from supermarket shelves)
284ml pot double cream (ok so this recipe is not great if you are on a diet...)
227g tub clotted cream ( running for 5 hours will help burn off some calories)
1 split vanilla pod
85g golden caster sugar
freshly grated nutmeg

Heat oven to 180C/fan 160C/gas 4. Lightly butter a shallow ovenproof dish. Wash the rice well under cold water, then drain. Bring the milk and creams to the boil with the vanilla pod, add the rice and sugar, then stir well. Tip the rice into the prepared dish, then grate a little nutmeg over the top. Dot with knobs of butter, bake for 15 mins, lower the oven to 160C/fan 140C/gas 3, then bake for 1 hr more, by which time the pudding should be golden brown on top and creamy underneath.

2. Clotted cream splits
    (again these sound dirty)

150ml pot natural yogurt
3 eggs , beaten
1 tsp vanilla extract
175g golden caster sugar
140g self-raising flour1 tsp baking powder
100g ground almonds
175g unsalted butter ,
melted raspberry jam
raspberries clotted cream

Line a 12-hole muffin tin with paper cases and heat oven to 190C/fan 170C/gas 5. In a jug, mix the yogurt, eggs and vanilla extract. Put the dry ingredients, plus a pinch of salt, into a large bowl and make a well in the middle.

Cut the tops off the cupcakes and set aside. Spoon a dollop of raspberry jam on top of each one. Top with a few raspberries and generously heaped teaspoons of clotted cream from a 550g pot. Put the tops back on( nooooooo, all tops should stay off in my opinion), then dust with icing sugar to serve.

3. Blackberry and clotted cream shortcake

FOR THE CAKE300g self-raising flour
1 tsp baking powder
140g butter , chilled and cut into small pieces100g golden caster sugar
75ml buttermilk
1 egg , beaten

FOR THE FILLING
500g blackberries
3 tbsp golden caster sugar
275g pot clotted creamicing sugar , to serve

Heat the oven to 190C/fan 170C/gas 5. Tip the flour into a mixing bowl with baking powder and a pinch of salt. Add the butter, rub everything together with your fingers to make a reasonably fine crumbed mixture, then stir in the sugar. Make a well in the middle of the flour mixture, then tip in the buttermilk and egg. Gently work the mixture together until it forms a soft, sticky, dough. On a lightly floured surface, knead the mixture a couple of times and mould it into an 18cm round. Put the dough on a lightly greased baking sheet. Bake for 30-35 mins until golden and risen and a skewer comes out clean when inserted into the middle. Leave to cool.

For the filling, lightly mash the blackberries with the sugar. Split the shortcake in two and spread the bottom half with the clotted cream. Spoon the mashed berries over the cream, then top with the shortcake. Dust with icing sugar and serve in slices. Add the yogurty mix and melted butter, and quickly fold in with a spatula or metal spoon - don't overwork it. Spoon into the cases (they will be quite full) and bake for 18-20 mins or until golden, risen and springy to the touch (haaaaaa). Cool for a few mins, then lift the cakes onto a wire rack to cool completely.