Silvialogy 4x05

LHDP 4x05

By Dr. Pied Piper
(with translations and smart ass comments by Dr. Bekelauer)

(If you want to watch the episode without downloading it, the link is at the end of the post)

The episode begins with Mariano getting ready to get his brain flushed. Dr. Lobotomy asks him if he's sure and they they proceed to vacuum out his bad memories. This freaky green light scans his face while he flashbacks to his memories with Lola in descending order, and then it's done.

At the penitentiary, it is total chaos while the fire alarm is blaring.  Lucas calls Sara.  While the fire alarm in blaring very loudly.  Because you know, if you're life is in danger and you need someone to talk to, you call your 18-year old ex-GF whom you stranded in Madagascar.  GAH!  And of course, she doesn't pick up. DL calmly gets dressed. After 3 tries, Sara reluctantly picks up the phone. Lucas thought that it was the best time to tell her why she ended up in Africa alone and that he knows she loves him as much as he loves her and he will wait for her forever.  *Barf!* Sara cries and hangs up the phone.  [Piper's snarky comment: Yeah, yeah, I've heard the "forever line" before and I'm ready to decree that people should never ever be allowed to use the word "forever" in any context unless they absolutely know what they are talking about.] Lucas hangs his head on the window all emo, while the sirens are blaring.

Paco's House: Mariano is convalescing at Paco's house, while Paco watches over him.  WTF?  I guess there is no such thing as a clean break in San Antonio.  Prison: Pove is being calmly led out of jail by Salazar and his homies.  And since this is LHDP, DL and Lucas have an emo talk right then and there about Sara before DL too is sprung from jail by the suits.  Paco's House: Paco is still watching Mariano and decides to call his long lost sister PEPA then hangs up on her.  Which I totally missed when I was editing the clip / episode, so my bad. But we've all seen that clip a million times before, right?

Pepa: Si? Who's this? Eh, sorry, but I can't hear you. Who are you? Si? Hola?

Paco hangs up and breathes into his paper bag again while Mariano sleeps on the bed.  Paco and Lola's matrimonial bed!  How cruel is that?  Lola comes in and asks what's going on. Prison: As they have learned during their fire drills, the inmates all go out to the yard. Pove waves his red "I'm in danger" handkerchief to Lucas who is looking out from the infirmary.  Paco's House: Mariano wakes up and the last thing he remembers is Portillo talking about Ruth.  Which doesn't make sense because Portillo did not appear until after Ruth was killed, and Mariano and Lola by then had already shared lots of kisses at the cemetery.  But whatever.  Mariano says he has a headache (you think?) and is hungry.  Seriously, how dumb is this show, or worse, how dumb do they think their viewers are?  Is there such a thing as selective memory clean up?  Do our brains organize and file our memories into little drawers with labels?  Lola tells Paco not to tell Mariano what procedure he just underwent.

Prison: All the inmates are in the courtyard with only about 2 guards to watch over them.  Double GAH! And of course, the brilliant suits thought it is the best time to lead DL out - during a fire alarm and while most of the inmates are in out in the open (outmates?)!  Have I already said how dumb this show truly is? One of Salazar's homies throws something at DL's head, which causes it to bleed.  And then all the inmates start throwing stuff at DL & suits and they have to run to the waiting armored car transport.  TOTAL CHAOS and perfect cover for Salazar, et.al. to walk out unnoticed.  Lucas is now outside and ready to take Pove away when a fight breaks out which of course preoccupies Mr. Macho Iberico. A dirty prison guard leads Salazar, et. al. to escape and opens the gate for them just as Lucas catches up, quick staring match, then they all run away from the courtyard. (Again, doesn't make sense.  Homie just stabbed his buddy in cold blood with no provocation, and here's Lucas with a cast on his arm and about to crimp their escape, and he doesn't even try to pinch him?)

At the lab, Silvia is taking Montoya's blood for testing.

Silvia: If you don’t relax, I’m not going to find your vein.
Montoya: Let’s see, what’s this whole random drug test about?
Silvia: The district attorney who’s handling my father’s case has ordered it because Portillo asked him to.
Montoya: Portillo? Fuck!
Silvia: Come on, relax.
Montoya: That’s all I needed!

[Silvia draws Montoya’s blood]

Silvia: Did I hurt you?
Montoya: The first or the second time you broke up with me?
Silvia: The prick, I meant.
Montoya: I will get over it… over the prick. [Translator's sarcasm: No, Gongon, you are the prick here! Piper's sarcasm to Translator's sarcasm: What the #$%^ is "Gongon"?]
Silvia: Hold that tight so you don’t get a bruise.
Montoya: Ehhmmm… How are you?
Silvia: How do you think I am…? Fine. Why?

Montoya: After what happened with your… With our… baby… Lots of things have happened after that and we haven’t talked about anything.
Silvia: [watery eyes] I feel fine [Translator's reaction: Somehow I don’t buy it!]. Now all you have to worry about is yourself, all right? And if you need to talk or anything else, you just tell me.
Montoya: Well, if it’s “something else”… maybe yes [Translator's note: He means sex].
Silvia: Gonzalo, I’m being serious. I don’t think you’re fine and making stupid jokes won’t fix anything [Translator's swoon: Super hot authoritarian line, lovely!]

Gonzalo: Well, I AM fine. I am fabulous [Translator's comment: I know fabulous doesn’t do justice to "de puta madre", but since he used it before in 4x04 I decided to make it his recurrent phrase, it’s called Translator’s decision-making power]
Silvia: You sure? Then why are your hands shaking?

While Lucas, Pove, Salazar, Salazar's homie, and dirty prison cop are running away from the prison house, Sara is moping at home.  Lola comes in to talk to her, and since she did not close the door, it's an open invitation for Paco to come in as well but Sara is still really angry about the whole Madagascar thing.  Haha!  I have visions of Sara talking to Melman and Alex. Paco gets a call to meet DL at the comisaria, Mariano is eating a jamon serrano bocadillo, and Lola sees an application to join the Cuerpo Nacional de Policia on Sara's bed.

At the comisaria, Montoya is lying naked in the shower, kinda fetal position, half crying, lost… Silvia draws the shower curtain and finds him lying there.

Silvia: Gonzalo! [shocked] Are you all right?
Montoya: Ehmmmm… Sss… Yes, I am fine [Translator's sarcasm: sure you are…] I had just finished. Ehmmm… Your dad, is he all right? Is he coming here?
Silvia: Yes, he is on his way. They’re going to make him give his deposition again in a couple of hours.

Montoya: Well, it looks like everything’s better now.
Silvia: Well, yes, everything’s going back to place [Translator's pervy comment: He’s looking at her with a mixture of sadness and desire, I can’t tell]. I’m gonna take my shower, okay?
Montoya: Yeah, go ahead.
Silvia: … It’s just that I’ve performed four autopsies today and my body smells like the Anatómico Forense [Translator's note: It’s a Spanish forensics institution where the important or relevant autopsies are performed, so not the nicest of scents!] Are you okay?
Montoya: Yes, yes, I’m fine.

Still in the changing room. Silvia is taking a shower. Montoya… has a dirty mind! He draws the shower curtain, Silvia picks up her towel INSANELY SLOWLY – excuse me - and the Translator starts hyperventilating.

Montoya: Hello… No… Are you not gonna ask me what was I doing lying there?
Silvia: Gonzalo, I would love if you told me anything you have to tell me without me asking you. [Silvia removes some foam from Montoya’s hair] Come in [Translator's and Piper's reaction: WTF?], you have shampoo all over your hair.

[Translator's observation: Montoya goes in, Silvia rinses his hair – is it just me or this is a very weird sweet asexual scene?]

Montoya: Silvia, those tests you were running before… are…
Silvia: The attorney wants to know if you’re clean.
Montoya: What if I’m not?
Silvia: Disciplinary action would be taken against you, and your statement in my father’s case would be rejected.

[They hug – very moving]

(How hot is Silvia, really?)

House: Lola is complaining about her daughter wanting to become a cop: she's already the daughter, wife, and sister of one.  The last thing she wants is to be the mother of one as well.  Sara hears all this, because apparently in Spain, it is socially acceptable to listen in to private conversations.  After Sara goes out, Paco has the brilliant idea to get her to talk to his shrink.  Mariano is ready to go back to his apartment about 5 steps away, thanks his hosts, and tells Lola, in a totally casual way, that she's looking beautiful.

(Sorry, I couldn't stop making Silvia screen caps.  How about her waterproof mascara, huh?)

Prison: Pove, Lucas, Salazar, et. al., are waiting out the riot inside the jail office. Apartment: Sara is outside when Aitor walks in to deliver an envelope for Paco.  She again tries to rope Aitor back, telling him that they had something before the whole Madagascar thing, but Aitor is adamant that it is over. Sara cries because she's now single and the convent seems like a good place to mend her broken heart and broken ego.

Paco and a junk-food laden Mariano walk into the precinct, met by a freshly showered Silvia who will be wearing the same clothes in the next 3 episodes. 

Paco: Silvia, did they bring your father already?
Silvia: We’re still waiting. What happened to you, Mariano?
Mariano: Nothing, just got a tiny cyst removed.
Silvia: But are you okay?
Mariano: Yeah, I’m fine.
Silvia: Well, I’ll see you in a bit then.
Paco: Yeah, sure.

Jail: Pove, Salazar, and Homie are now dressed as riot cops, but Lucas has no costume (so no trick or treating for you!).  At the comisaria, Dr. Shrink is waiting for Paco at his office, really pissed, because he was interrupted at the Opera.  He dumps Paco and is about to walk out when Paco tells him it is not for him but for his daughter who wants to be a cop.  Why does everything revolve around Sara?

DL, in handcuffs, walks into the precinct.

Silvia: [coming downstairs] Papa… How are you?
Don Lorenzo: Very well.
Silvia: What’s that in the back of your neck?
Don Lorenzo: Nothing… I banged my head against the van door while getting in… I’m fine, honey.
Silvia: You have bags under your eyes. Are they controlling your sugar levels?
Don Lorenzo: Yes.
Silvia: Okay. You got your FG tests?
Don Lorenzo: Yes, I got everything tested, FG, the Ph, everything. I am doing well, honey, very well.

Paco: Don Lorenzo…
Don Lorenzo: Yes…
Paco: Povedilla…
Don Lorenzo: [to Rita] How is Sabinica doing?
Rita: She’s very healthy.
Paco: So yeah... Have you seen Povedilla?
Don Lorenzo: No, I haven’t seen him.
Paco: And Lucas?
Silvia: They have just informed me that Lucas has been discharged and he’s not in the infirmary anymore. He’s with the rest of the inmates. And apparently there’s some sort of a riot in the backyard.

Don Lorenzo: They got a little nervous when they saw me leave. People in there get very sentimental with farewells [Translator's reaction: He cracks me up]
Portillo: Captain, your lawyer is waiting for you in the interrogation room. And both the attorney and the judge are coming at 2130 to take your statement. If you don’t mind coming with me, please.
Paco: Portillo, do think this is necessary? [pointing at Don Lorenzo’s handcuffs]
Portillo: I would like to take them off myself, but until the judge passes a different judgment, Captain Castro is still under protected custody. Those are the rules…
Paco: Do you want me to tell you where I shove your rules? [Translator's snide remark: Is it a Captain thing to shove things up their santos cojones?] Do you want me to tell you?
Don Lorenzo: Paco, Paco, Paco… It’s all right. The Inspector is just fulfilling his obligations. Okay?

Paco: Okay.
Don Lorenzo: C’mon, let’s go.
Silvia: Papa… [Translator's note: She stops him, looks at him in the eye very tendery, lifts his arms and hugs him thru the handcuffs. Cheesy music in the back… Everybody joins the hug – I would say “this looks like a big Teletubbie gathering” if it wasn’t because I think it’s very moving.]
Don Lorenzo: [touched] You don’t know how thankful I am. You don’t know how much I’ve been longing to be back here with you all.

Rest of the episode: Pove, et.al., are still trying to escape. Paco invites Dr. Shrink to his house for dinner and to talk to Sara. Paco applies reverse physochology and wishes Sara goodluck on her entrance exam, to Lola's chagrin. His phone rings about the riot at the prison ground and that some people have died. They rush back to the comisaria to monitor the situation.

Prison: Pove and company manage to get out of one section of jail by pretending Lucas is a crazy felon and the rest of them are cops. Precinct: Mariano goes to the breakroom and sees a cop we've never met before but it seems they know each other because they hug and chat and reminisce about their days at the academy; later, Strange Guy just ups and leaves. House: Lola and Sara are by the sink next to a rather good-looking leg of ham, and we learn that Lola thought about becoming a cop when she was 20 years old.

 

Jail: Pove and company get to another prison wing and they go to a large rest room where Dirty Prison Cop has hidden guns etc. for Salazar and Homie and a reveals a secret door hidden by a toilet bowl.  Precinct: Mariano is called in to give his statement but since he has undergone a lobotomy, he doesn't remember a thing.  At Shawshank Redemption, homie shoots Dirty Cop and was about to kill Lucas but he was over-powered and Lucas pretends to hold Pove hostage.  Precinct: Mariano totally screws up and renders DL's past statement null and void.  Afterwards, Mariano is left in the Interrogation Room pondering what he couldn't remember when Paco and Strange Cop come in.  After Paco walks out, Strange Cop yells at Mariano and tells him what he has tried to forget - that he's in love with Lola.  He yells back and accuses his friend of lying, but the electrode marks on his head prove otherwise.

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Piper's Note: If last episode was kick-ass Silvia, this one shows really HOT Silvia.  Shower scene.  Need I say more?  Of course Montoya ruined an otherwise perfect scene, but we can imagine Pepa in his place, and the shower being the one at Paco's house... you know where I'm going with this. 

But it always breaks my heart when I see DL and Silvia - how Silvia mothers him, a role she probably assumed after her mother died, how he adores her daughter in return - and then I think about Ep 104 and I cannot imagine the pain DL must have been through, if he were a real feeling person.  So I just pretend that 104 never happened and Pepa and Silvia are somewhere in Centre City, Philadelphia attending The Vidocq Society's monthly symposium, and I will be meeting them for dinner later.  Yeah, that's it.

Marian Aguilera, Laura Sanchez, Pepa, Silvia, Los Hombres de Paco, LHDP