9x10 El Fumadero del Señor Chang - Complete Recap

Episode 114 - El Fumadero del Señor Chang (Mr. Chang's Den)

By Dr. Bekelauer
Picspam and additional snark by Piper

Paco is doing the intro speech, which is about fears. Salgado is in the interrogation room, talking to DL and Mariano about Zebra, a super secret élite CNI group created to “eliminate” whomever threatened the state security. Paco realises that the only way of solving the Satanic plot is examining the evidence one by one. He needs to “know the truth”.  He has called a tarot lady, who asks him what he wants to know. “The truth” – yeah, we figured that much. She tosses the Devil, the Fool, the Hangman, and the Death cards.  Not good.

Marina is all torn and confesses to DL that in 8 years she has witnessed 9 assassinations and ordered two of them. DL doesn’t know what to say or do. Salgado tells him to call super bigwig Sánchez Aguirre, her mentor. At Paco’s, the tarot lady is about to leave because she is creeped out by Paco’s future. He asks her how to look inside of him and she recommends drugs. Nice. (I'd recommend a colonoscopy.)  She gives him the address of Mister Chang’s coffee shop, which is really an opium den.

LHDP Intro

At the newbies's flat, Dani and Lis joke and I’m just about to puke when Goyo and Amaia show up to tell them that they’ve been kicked out of the police for smoking pot. Dani says that’s not possible – then Reyes wakes up with a wicked hangover and confirms that smoking narcotics is a grave disciplinary violation. Yeah, right, so what the hell is Paco doing at Mr Chang’s, huh?

Povedilla tries to tell Mr Chang not to make the opium too strong for Paco because he’s “new”. He is like the only funny thing remaining in this show. He and Mariano. So Paco is all high now and dressed in white pyjamas and inside a white room that looks like the Matrix. Amadeo, also wearing white, shows up. Paco asks him where he is. “You’re inside yourself. And you’re not alone”. Damián Jr., dressed in black, is also buggering around. “You’ve come to play with my brother”. Paco says he wants answers, Amadeo says Junior has all the answers. He also tells him that if he fails, he won’t be able to go back to his life.

Old Super Big Wig (OSBW) walks into the interrogation room and hands Salgado an envelope with a fake passport, et. al. (Quick pedantic translator moment: Lucas got the same deal as well. They handed him fake documents with a different name. Salgado’s new surname is Zurriagamimundi, a stupidly long and complicated Basque name. Lucas’s two surnames were Catalan and  Basque. Do the police think that by giving them really uncommon and not Castillan surnames, they would not stand out in a crowd? Are they not supposed to assign them names so common? And why do they have to be Catalan or Basque? Right then, that was a pedantic moment brought to you by the Translatori). The OSBW tells her to get the fuck off the country, but she says she has to give a statement for the benefit of the people who love her.

Pepa is at Laureano Vicuña, with a big rucksack, clearly going off on holiday. Aitor gets out of the house, sees her.

Aitor: Whose corpse are you carrying in that bag?
Pepa: I’m going for a few days.
Aitor: You know that you have to report to the judge every fortnight until they call the hearing for the engineer’s death, right? And you’re not gonna do anything stupid, right?
Pepa: I’m off... Aitor, I talked to Paco, and to Don Lorenzo. And I told them about El Gordo – my part, not yours.

Aitor: Do you want me to go with you? See, if you want, I can wear a dress... for you.
Pepa: You’d look so pretty.
Aitor: Aye, right?
Pepa: I’m not going to run away, don’t worry, Aitor. But I need to go and close doors. I've been stuck on the moment when Silvia got shot, and you know that. But I’m gonna make change happen.
Aitor: But do it quickly. I don’t want to miss you too much.

Pepa playfully shows Aitor her tongue. She is definitely my home girl.  And most of the screencaps you'll see from this point on will be anachronistic, so just enjoy. vale?

Mariano walks into the interrogation room to see Salgado. Somebody is unscrewing the ventilation grill. DL walks in and tells her that Colonel Etxebarría, a.k.a. CNI Jackass, is in the building. She’s a dead woman if they take her.

Lis convinces Reyes to tell DL not to get Goyo and Amaia out of the police. Lis acts all “motherly” and tells her she’s too old for binge drinking. “As I am too old to date Aitor, right?”. She then reveals that she overhead Lis' declaration of love for Aitor from last episode. You’re so screwed, brat. Aitor knocks at the door and invites Reyes for breakfast... but Lis says she’s also going.

CNI Jackass walks in ready to get Salgado, but OSBW gets in the middle to protect her. CNI-J has a warrant, so they have to hand her in. But when they check the interrogation room, she is gone... thru the ventilation system. Amaia has a strong Blackman vibe (Barf alert!) and runs to the parking lot along with all the CNI guys. Blackman has Salgado on a choke hold. Blackman then shoots her and lets them arrest him. Salgado looks dead.  Or is she?

Povedilla refuses to get high. Paco is still in the Matrix. He opens a door and enters a dark room. There he finds Father Sistiaga wearing a cassock, and himself (Paco) in a coffin. Very freaky. And there's somebody else in the room - it's Sara mourning him. He tries to talk to her, but she can’t hear him. She is talking to dead Paco and tells him that she’s proud to be a Miranda, because they never give up. Povedilla is all freaked out and wakes Paco up.

And probably the only funny line in this episode:

Povedilla: Look, you’re freaking me out, you kept saying “I’m not dead, I’m not dead”, that’s creepy. And if what you want are answers, I help you find them through Google, Wikipedia, or in the National Library, but we gotta get out of here. No, that’s honourable... Chinese. Very tasty, but no more.

Mariano and DL take a bleeding Salgado to the lab. The paramedics are coming, but Deker walks in first and he is NOT happy. Amaia is in tears at seeing what her lover boy did. CNI Jackass tells her to take Blackman to the interrogation room.

At breakfast, Lis tells Aitor that she’s going to wait for him. Aitor tells her to get over that thought. Lis is so insistent and is very, very annoying. Povedilla phones Aitor and tells him to go to the opium den.

Blackman and Amaia have a chat, he rejects her, for her own good, but he still acts like a total jerk. Deker realises that the bullet did not touch any organs or bones in Salgado’s belly and that her gunshot wound is not life-threatening.  DL figures out that Blackman shot her to save her.

In the interrogation room, CNI Jackass is making another CNI guy punch Blackman until he talks. But he’s not going to. DL is not allowed in, so he goes to find Goyo and Amaia, who has the solution – Blackman has given her the password to the CNI database.  Breakup gift?

Aitor tries to convince Paco to stop smoking dope, but he tells him that Sara is in the Matrix, so Aitor is going to go with him.  Good Lord!

DL, Goyo, and Amaia are trying to hack into the CNI archives. But the password is wrong, so DL drafts Win-E. Deker tells Mariano he’s back so soon because he is going to solve the Satanic case. He also asks OSBW to leave his lab.

Blackman is still getting pummelled. CNI Jackass is trying to get the truth out of him, but one look into Blackman’s eyes and he is scared shitless . CNI-J gets a phone call alerting him that somebody is trying to hack into their database.

Amaia tells Goyo that she doesn’t want to hear about Blackman anymore. CNI-J wants to take Salgado out of the precinct, whatever it takes.

Chinese man at opium den insists that Povedilla also smoke... too funny. Aitor walks into the mental Matrix but Paco can’t hear him. He tries to run but ends up in a white room. Talking to Sara. They have a sentimental moment. Aitor sees she’s pregnant. She tells him that even though he has stopped dreaming about her, he no longer knows whom to dream about. The answer is he has to be with Lis. WRONG ANSWER!

At Lizarran, Dani tells Lis he is going to wait for her like she is going to wait for Aitor. This is the only moment I’ve ever liked Dani. He goes “I am not gonna sit around, waiting to see how you crack your head against a wall trying to steal your mother’s boyfriend. Do you think I’m more ridiculous than you are?” – no, you’re both pathetic, but Dani has a point.

I really think Manu Fullola is cute

Goyo goes to talk to Blackman, and tells him that he has broken Amaia’s heart. Blackman tells him some short stories about his past, and says that he’s the luckiest man in the world, but that he is cursed because whoever gets attached to him, dies or suffers. He walks away, even if he is in love with Amaia.

At the bar, the band is playing Lo Que No Ves. Lis says she’s sorry, and tells her mother that their love story is over, and that Aitor only broke up with her because he felt sorry about Reyes.

Lis: If you weren’t my mother, where do you think he would be?
Reyes: How can you look me in the face and tell me that? (I THINK SHE DESERVES A SLAP, REYES!)

Lis says Aitor is the most important love story of her 21 years of age – dude, I’m going to bitchslap you myself! Reyes leaves the bar, all broken hearted.

CNI-J wants to take Salgado at any cost. Mariano stands between her and the barrel of a gun. Deker injects something into her IV and she flatlines.  This is so they can keep her in the precinct. So now a lot of electroshock crap, you know, and Salgado goes to the light... So she goes and talks to Paco. She says she is real, because she is dead. She asks for forgiveness. Since Paco forgives her, she decides to walk back from the light and survive.

OSBW is now revealed as the Big Bad Guy and tells the CNI Jackass to confiscate all CPUs in the precinct and kill Salgado. Win-E pretends to be a fake robot so as not to be taken by the CNI. Seriously, he is way better than all the newbies in the precinct.

Salgado wakes up and wants to talk to Mariano. DL tries to convince Win-E to crack the code, but its protocols are too strict (i.e., wouldn't break into a top secret system). Salgado says she dreamt that Paco forgave her. She confesses that he ordered Pepa to kill a man.

Paco is in a dark room, and Damian Jr. challenges him to a chess game. Multi-action. CNI-J enters the lab with his gun pointed at Salgado. Mariano stands between them. Paco plays chess. CNI-J hits Mariano unconscious. Goyo tells Win-E to follow the Asimov rules of robotics. CNI-J does what everyone does when they’re not going to shoot – talk to the person you have to kill! Salgado gives him lessons on morality. Junior is kicking Paco’s butt at chess. Goyo convinces Win-E to get the password. DL arrives just in time to stop the CNI Jackass. Once the key is cracked, all the secrets from Zebra start flashing at every screen in the precinct.  I can't remember where this scene has been ripped off, but it looks awfully familiar.

Paco loses the game to Junior but finds the way to beat him – HOPE. Junior goes ballistic, and Paco is back at the white Matrix.  Sara is there, not pregnant anymore, but with a doll that pretends to be a baby. Then he goes and wakes up Aitor and gets a phone call from Sara, so he realises it wasn’t a dream.

Paco, that's a creepy look even for you!

At the frisking garage, an ambulance is waiting to transfer Salgado to the hospital. Blackman walks in and they have a strange tender moment. OSBW sees the chance to shoot Salgado but ta-dah! Blackman grabs a gun and shoots the bullet which then breaks into 2 perfect little bullets! Too bad that after they arrest the OSBW, they realise that half the bullet has hit Amaia and she sort of dies in Blackman's arms. And then they all start singing... Probablemente ya... Nah, not really.

Next Week!

Pepa ain’t there and they are wearing hospital uniforms. I don’t understand a bit.

Piper's Commentary

I am underwhelmed.  So just how incompetent is this precinct, that you have strange dudes in trenchcoats roaming your frisking garage where a totally vulnerable shooting victim is lying on a guerney like a sitting duck?

And just how unrealistic has this season been? 

I didn't know they still have opium dens; I thought those went out of style after the Green Hornet.  And a totally awesome robot exists.  And Blackman has superpowers to shoot at a bullet and totally change its trajectory.  My IQ dropped 10 points after watching this episode.

When a show has become this bad, mercy-killing doesn't seem like a bad idea.  The finale cannot come any sooner.  Yeah, ATPP, it's all on you!