9x13 LHdP 66.6: The Rip-off - "In the End, It Doesn't Even Matter"

There was one major rip-off in this episode, so I'm going to discuss that and get it over with before examining the S9 storylines in our last rip-off lecture together.

Ep. 117: El Acabose de los tiempos (The last straws of time)

Rip-off: Angels and Demons
Summary: After Pope Pius XVI dies, the four Preferiti in contention to succeed him are kidnapped by the secret brotherhood of the Illuminati, who promise to kill one Cardinal each hour culminating in an explosion of Vatican City with stolen antimatter - revenge for the persecution the Illuminati suffered at the hands of the Church. While the conclave remains in seclusion to determine who will be the new Pope, symbologist Robert Langdon (from The Da Vinci Code), along with physicist Vittoria Vetra are summoned by the Vatican police and Camerlengo Patrick McKenna to aid in the rescue of the Preferiti and stop the antimatter from exploding. Langdon and Vetra use clues to trace the "Path of Illumination", hoping it will lead them to the missing Cardinals and the antimatter. They manage to rescue the fourth Preferiti from death, but by the time the find the antimatter bomb, it is minutes away from exploding. Camerlengo McKenna takes the vial in a helicopter and parachutes out just before it explodes, saving everyone and becoming an instant hero. However, it is soon revealed that Camerlengo McKenna was behind the whole thing, using the Illuminati as a ploy to bring people back to the church by showing that the church, not science, should dictate moral creedence. When his plans are revealed, he immolates himself.

LHdP spin: Paco has spent all of S9 using clues to track down Damián Jr., who believes he is Satan incarnate. Each clue leads Paco and the hombres to another victim, which we learned each gave blood to Damián Sr., Damián Jr.'s father. Paco is the final donor and the last victim Damián Jr. believes he must kill in order for his reign of darkness to begin. He decides that the opportune place for this to occur is at a church - the sixth and final point on the pentagram - which results in the hombres infiltrating the church as Cardinals. During the climax of the episode Damián Jr. learns (from his father) that he is not Satan, but a mere mortal. Rather, Damián Sr. is a member of the secret organization, The Witness of the Resurrection, who "created" Damián Jr. by raping his mother and raising Junior to believe he was the devil so that he and his organization could use the public's fear of Satan to renew their faith in the church. Damián Jr. doesn't take this revelation very well and kills his father before confronting and stabbing Paco. In the end, he dies after being shot by all the hombres.


Epic fail: Angels and Demons worked (as a film and book) because its premise was both intriguing and legit. The camerlengo is a religious fanatic who believes that faith trumps science and, to prove his point, he uses the Illuminati as a ploy to get that message across. In that respect, the sudden twist that Alex Pina & Co. chose to take with the "66.6" storyline actually makes sense. Like the camerlengo, Damián Sr. is also a religious fanatic, but one who simply believes more people need to go to church. And because of that belief, he and his secret group generate a plan in which he spends his life raising a guy to believe that he's Satan in order to get that message across.

Here's the thing though. In Angels and Demons, Camerlengo McKenna hasn't spent half his life planning his "faith trumps science" scheme. Everything takes place over a short period of time and is triggered by his discovery that the late-Pope (a) considered using the antimatter research to show, through science, that Man and God are connected, and (b) used the science of artificial insemination to conceive a son. In LHdP's warped "66.6" storyline, we're led to believe that Damián Sr. has been planning this thing for decades. He and his group went through the trouble of (a) creating this plan of getting more people to go to church, (b) rape some poor girl in order to (c) raise that child, making him believe that he is the devil, including (d) manipulating thousands of Satan worshippers around the world to make it appear that Satan is on Earth only to (e) say "psyche!" in the end. And they wonder why Junior didn't react so well to the news that he's not Satan. That's a hell of a lot of planning and scheming just to get more people to go to church. I can think of several other ways they could've accomplished their goal without giving the church a bad rap - the Jehovah Witness door-to-door way, the Sister Act giving your choir a makeover way, or even the simple giving back to the community way to name a few. It also doesn't help their cause that during all this time they actively encouraged Satanists. At least in Angles and Demons the camerlengo achieved his goal: the public, unaware of his true motives, perceives him as a hero and demands that he be canonized. I don't think any of Damián Sr.'s action got more people in Spain to go to church - it certainly was a turn off for me.

Finally, in Angels and Demons, Langdon went through the trouble of trying to find each Cardinal in order to save them and stop the antimatter bomb from exploding. We didn't get anything near that with LHdP. The "66.6" storyline may have started off that way (as I'll discuss below), but it eventually developed into a Paco-Damián Jr. showdown that frankly I (and it seems most other viewers) could care less about. Despite the fact that Paco had Father Sistiaga's "journey book", which seemed to lay out exactly where each point on the pentagram was (in other words, where each death would occur), he and the hombres kept running around like chickens with their heads cut off instead of staking out each location. And, with the exception of the novice, they never came close to discovering or protecting any of the intended victims - they always arrived well after the fact.

Storyline: "66.6"
Summary: Throughout the course of this season, Paco and the hombres discovered/witnessed the murders of: a philanthropist, a negotiator, a priest, a novice, and a bomb squad expert. Initially, the hombres believe that each victim represents one of the seven virtues. However, their investigation leads them to discover that each victim donated blood to the killer's - Damián Jr. - father, and thus, that is their real connection to each other. Paco, being the last donor alive, believes that only he can stop Damián Jr. and has a showdown with him, which leads to Paco being stabbed by Damián Jr. and Junior being shot by almost every hombre before he dies. During Don Lorenzo's retirement ceremony one year later, we learn that Paco has survived his encounter with Damián Jr. and will be taking over as Comisario of the precinct.

Analysis: I don't even know where to begin, but I'll try. The entire "66.6" storyline actually sounds good in theory and may have worked if LHdP were a sci-fi/fantasy show. Well, I should rephrase. It started out as a good idea, but from the way it unraveled, it was like Alex Pina & Co. were doing a "choose your own adventure" with this arc. First, it comes off as an inverted Se7en rip-off, making it appear that each victim was chosen because they represent one of the seven virtues. They string the viewers along with this idea until Ep. 112 (I think) when we learn that Paco was a blood donor to Junior's daddy and begin to toy around with the idea that all the victims may have given Senior some blood. Then we're supposed to believe that these two things are connected - the blood donations and the virtues, which suddenly become six virtues instead of seven, and theological virtues instead of heavenly ones. *Side note: Thank you, Dr. P, for pointing out that there are, in fact, seven heavenly virtues (and that there are only 3 theological virtues). I didn't think it was possible, but Alex Pina & Co. have made me dislike simple math, because I couldn't figure out why Rita said there were seven victims (and how she got that number - if you take Amadeo into account there's only six at that point, and if you count the two dead cops Junior killed when he kidnapped Deker, that puts you at eight) or how the hell Paco could be the "final victim" when there were only five deaths. It fucking drove me crazy trying to figure it out until they revealed that they went and changed the script by saying there are only six virtues and that it was the theological virtues.*

Putting aside all the plot points they brought up and dismissed like Dr. P mentioned at the end of the recap - the elephant, the opium dream, Paco's ability to see Ghost Silvia, an invalid Senior who turned out to be faking as penance!?!, Paco's paralysis in Ep. 113, etc. - when one considers the explanation Alex Pina & Co. chose as their "big reveal", it was this season's biggest failure IMO. In the end, it didn't fucking matter what you called the virtues or how many there were, because the whole thing was one big sham in a plot to get more asses in church on Sundays. I actually think it's a good metaphor to describe this whole season. Damián Sr. and his merry band got together and decided that the best way to convince people to go to church was to stage several decades worth of Satanic acts and make Damián Jr. believe he was Satan, and while we don't know the outcome - if more people, in fact, are attending church - I'm to going to venture a guess that it probably didn't work as well as they hoped. Similarly, Alex Pina and his merry band of writers got together and decided that the best way to keep his remaining viewership interested was to create a totally unrecognizable show that focused on nothing that made viewers want to tune in to begin with - the comedy, the relationships, etc. - and we definitely know the outcome of that little idea.

Storyline: The CNI and "Zebra"
Summary: The CNI are aware of the fact that Pepa killed El Gordo and use that information (and the fact that she made Aitor her accomplice in El Gordo's murder) to blackmail Pepa into becoming an assassin for them. They make Marina Salgado Pepa's "handler", based on her relationship with Pepa and Paco. Pepa proves to be difficult, doing whatever she can to avoid carrying out her orders, forcing the CNI to bring in Aitor, who decides to carry out the job for Pepa. However, Aitor can't go through with the assassination either, and he and Pepa (along with Reyes and Deker) decide to gather intel from the intended target (a scientist) instead. They discover the CNI wants the scientist dead in order to cover up Spain's involvement in nuclear development. Salgado ends up shooting the scientist herself (with Pepa's gun in Aitor's place) but provides a cover story clearing both Pepa and Aitor of any involvement before giving Pepa all the information she has linking her to El Gordo's death. Salgado then reveals that she is a part of a secret CNI unit called "Zebra" and intends to expose them. She almost dies in the process before being saved by the mysterious Blackman.

Analysis: This was a storyline that fit better into what LHdP was about and started off very well. Sadly though, it ended as badly as the "66.6" storyline IMO. This arc began with a great backstory: Pepa was being blackmailed into doing the CNI's dirty work because she murdered El Gordo. It gave Pepa something else to deal with in conjunction with her grief, something the writers could've explored more but failed to do so. It got even more interesting once we learned that the intended target - the scientist - was the key to some big CNI secret that even Salgado was hesitant to participate in.

However, once Salgado assassinated the scientist, this subplot took a huge nosedive. Pepa and Aitor are absolved from participating in the story because Salgado gives Pepa all the the CNI's evidence that links her to El G's murder, and suddenly "Zebra" is a focal plot point which is explained and resolved all in one episode. Blackman appeared out of nowhere - as he tends to do - and injected himself into the story without explanation (although that's pretty consistent with his character, so I'll give them that). The plot then focuses more on Salgado and two new, random CNI dudes that no one cares about because (a) they're not Pepa (or Aitor) and (b) they're not part of the show in general. Everything gets wrapped up in one ugly bow and *poof* storyline over. This subplot had the potential to be really great, but it ended up suffering the same fate as everything else this season - poor writing and another failed attempt to rip-off a show/movie.

Parting thoughts:
While I was back home recently, I watched an old episode of CSI:NY with my sis who loves that show. The episode was titled "Boo", and one of the plots dealt with zombies (it was their Halloween episode). The CSIs are called to a zombie flash mob where one of the zombies has died. They determine that the "zombie" died from a blunt force trauma to the head, but his body temp indicates that he had been dead for 8h, which is inconsistent with witness reports that he died 3h ago. It makes one believe that this guy could really be a zombie, right? Well, since CSI:NY is a show that takes place in NYC in the 21st Century, viewers discovered that - surprise! - there's no such thing as zombies. Instead, the victim faked his death after being drugged to make it look like he suffered a congenitive heart failure. After "rising from the dead", he discovers his wife in bed with his doc and drugs them both, but not before being beaten on the head several times. Thus, he was able to stumble out into the street where witnesses saw him before he died for reals. While watching that episode, I couldn't help but think This is how Alex Pina & Co. should've/could've tackled the whole "66.6" storyline. At least that way, it would've actually fit into the premise of a cop show. So perhaps instead of gathering all the horror/thriller/sci-fi rip-offs they could find, they just should've watched CSI.

I've already expressed some of my thoughts on the finale here and in the latest weekend update, but it did leave me with several questions, although I'll admit they're irrelevant. Where the fuck was Blackman? They create a storyline with him and Amaia but don't resolve it in any way - he just "flys" away at the end of Ep. 116!?! Okay. Adios, I suppose. Where was WIN-E during the finale, and where does he go and what does he do when he's not at the precinct? Yes, I realize WIN-E's character is extremely minor, but I was more interested in him than the four newbies combined and would much rather know what he does during his off time than watch Lis pine over Aitor or Amaia cry over Blackman. On a positive note, one thing I recently noticed was that aside from Deker, Aitor was also absent during Damián Jr.'s takedown and he wasn't a part of the "fucking rowing team" at the end. Now, his absence from the showdown makes a little sense - he was probably with Sara - but I found it somewhat amusing that they boy who seemed to be Alex Pina's "face of the show"/Lucas replacement/boy-crush was the only character absent from the rowing team. I guess Aitor's ego couldn't fit in their boat and he had to go. It's just a shame he couldn't take his wife Lis with him.

Finally, despite the title I've chosen for this lecture, I believe that what happened this season (as well as the S8 finale) does matter. It matters because I firmly believe in George Santayana's quote that "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." Regardless of what it turned out to be in the end, LHdP had some really good moments and some really good lessons on the way people should (not) be treated. I don't hate Alex Pina - there's too much of that in the world as it is - but I am disappointed that he (appears to have) let his ego get in the way of being true to his show and the beautiful relationships he created. I have no idea if Alex Pina will learn (or cares enough to learn) from the mistakes he's made, but hopefully others will. Hopefully other writers, producers and execs will take the good from what this show was able to do - both in its style and relationships - and learn from the bad this show became. After all, isn't that one way change happens? And if future storytellers can create stories like PepSi and treat it with the same sincerity and honesty as LHdP did without falling into the same pitfalls, then while the S8 finale and "66.6" storyline themselves may not have mattered in the end, the message it taught us of what us not to do will have, and perhaps that will make the heartache we've endured a little worth it.

kalike

*The title for this lecture is based on lyrics to the song "In the End" by Linkin' Park.