Come to my window by Dr.Booker

Here is my confession: I have rarely watched any Pepsi scenes since Silvia died. It was too hard for me to watch them fall in love, flirt, kiss and get married. It was too hard to walk down that memory lane, because I missed Pepa and Silvia so much.

I was a fan who watched the Pepsi scenes over and over. I was also a major fan of the numerous music videos made by some very talented Pepsi viewers.

I went through a Pepsi withdrawl...cold turkey. I could have used a Pepsi Patch! But the best thing for me was not watch any Pepsi at all.

But when Dr. Piper and I discussed doing a lecture series on what "Pepsi meant to us", I knew I would have to contribute something.

There are only two things I watched to prepare myself for this lecture--the famous bathroom scene at Pepsienglish2 and "The One" video at MStrong0623. That was all I needed to remind me why I loved this show so much.

I have written many lectures and posts about specific scenes and why these characters are significant. But I have not written about how LHDP personally impacted my life. I could write thousands of words on what has happened to my life because of the people I met. But I am not going to do that.

I will tell you this--Pepsi gave me a peek into a window I never thought I would look into. Pepsi opened my eyes to seeing love in a new way. In a very silly way (now that I think of it) I wanted to be the Pepa in Silvia's life. To have that kind of connection and to cause that kind of reaction with another woman. I didn't realize it at the time, but I think that watching Pepsi wasn't just about a fantasy, I think it made me wonder who I am.

There are many reasons to love Pepa and Silvia and their storyline. It was very entertaining, it was exciting to see lesbians on TV, and it gave all of us a community we did not have before. But for me, it was even more. Of all the people I met through Pepsi and PepsiU, the person I got to know the best was me. I learned a lot about myself and it was life changing.

Sometimes a TV show is just a TV show. Sometimes it reaches into a corner of your heart and stuns you. It is up to each of us to accept or deny what has happened.

My heart and arms are open. And I have much gratitude...to Spain, LHDP, Marian Aguilera and Laura Sanchez, and the AE and PepsiU communities.

And we go on.