You didn't wait for me to help you out
And I would've stayed to clear those final doubts
How suddenly the whole world can change overnight
And how suddenly the whole world knows your name
And I find myself questioning all that I have done
And I'm trying to press the button to rewind
And I find myself whispering, "Is there more I could have done?"
And I wish I had the option to rewind
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
I'm not the same; it feels like I'm missing out
The sky has drained; now I must live without
How suddenly the whole world can change overnight
And how suddenly the whole world sings your name
And I find myself questioning all that I have done
And I'm trying to press the button to rewind
And I find myself whispering, "God, what have you done?"
And I wish I had the option to rewind
Is it better to have loved than not at all? (x4)
I find myself thinking, "I hope I can inspire
The subtleties you taught me to ignore."
I find myself thinking, "I hope I can inspire
The subtleties you taught me to ignore."
Is it better to have loved than not at all? (x4)
And I would've stayed to clear those final doubts
How suddenly the whole world can change overnight
And how suddenly the whole world knows your name
And I find myself questioning all that I have done
And I'm trying to press the button to rewind
And I find myself whispering, "Is there more I could have done?"
And I wish I had the option to rewind
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
I'm not the same; it feels like I'm missing out
The sky has drained; now I must live without
How suddenly the whole world can change overnight
And how suddenly the whole world sings your name
And I find myself questioning all that I have done
And I'm trying to press the button to rewind
And I find myself whispering, "God, what have you done?"
And I wish I had the option to rewind
Is it better to have loved than not at all? (x4)
I find myself thinking, "I hope I can inspire
The subtleties you taught me to ignore."
I find myself thinking, "I hope I can inspire
The subtleties you taught me to ignore."
Is it better to have loved than not at all? (x4)
One thing I love about music is that one song can be interpreted many different ways by the listener, and this song made me think of LHDP from two particular perspectives: the show's executives/audience and Pepa.
On July 15, 2009, the whole world changed overnight for all LHDP fans and the PepSiverse in particular. The S8 finale left us with four deaths, and suddenly fans from all over the world were shouting the names of the four departed actors, especially Marian Aguilera and Aitor Luna. Our world no longer felt the same; it was suddenly emptier. For the lesbian community, there was suddenly a new void and the community would now have to learn how to live with one less lesbian couple on television.
Dr. Piper commented in a recent PepSilogy lecture about how ridiculous it was that Dr. Felix, a recurring guest character, did a monologue long before Silvia and how this might have been a contributing factor in MA's decision to leave the show - she may have felt underappreciated. I think there's some merit to Dr. P's theory. After all, MA's placement in the credit billing and in cast photos may have been symbolic of how Alex Pina viewed her role on the show - a secondary, background character despite the fact that MA is an extremely talented actress and PepSi single-handedly created an international phenomenon. I wouldn't blame MA if she had doubts as to why she should stay on a show where she may have felt like she wasn't appreciated or valued and the execs weren't doing anything to clear those doubts. Again, this may not have been a factor at all in her decision to leave, but if it was, it leaves me wondering how differently the finale could have turned out if we could just rewind and change some of those things.
From a character perspective, I can see a grieving Pepa wondering, "Is there more I could have done while Silvia was alive?" Should she have waited so long before returning to San Antonio, to Silvia? Should she have just agreed to have a child with Silvia when the subject came up instead of letting her fears and doubts get the best of her? Could she have done more to try and save Silvia on that fateful day?
After July 15, 2009, PepSi fans were trying to find the button to rewind - a way to undo the finale as if it never happened. As S9 approaches, the sky seems darker, grayer, and we're suddenly faced with trying to find a way to live without. Pepa must find a way to live without her wife and we, as viewers, must find a way to live without one of the best couples to ever grace our television.
The thing is, in answering the question "Is it better to have loved than not at all?" I think most PepSi fans and Pepa herself would say "Yes." Because as much as it hurt (and still hurts) to lose Silvia and PepSi, we got to see a beautiful, authentic love story unfold before our eyes, and Pepa got to experience it firsthand. And in a way, we do have the option to rewind. We can re-watch PepSi's story unfold over and over again (minus the finale and for many PepSi fans, the Pepa-Aitor hookup), perhaps viewing it differently each time as we notice new things we may not have picked up on before. Pepa also has the option to rewind - she has her memories of Silvia and the life and love they shared. And as long as those memories exist, the love that existed between them and the feelings that it gave Pepa (and viewers) will never truly die. In that regard, Silvia and PepSi will always live on, and that's why I believe it's better to have loved than not at all.
kalike
*The title for this lecture is based on lyrics from the song "It's Better to Have Loved" by Temposhark.
On July 15, 2009, the whole world changed overnight for all LHDP fans and the PepSiverse in particular. The S8 finale left us with four deaths, and suddenly fans from all over the world were shouting the names of the four departed actors, especially Marian Aguilera and Aitor Luna. Our world no longer felt the same; it was suddenly emptier. For the lesbian community, there was suddenly a new void and the community would now have to learn how to live with one less lesbian couple on television.
I've often wondered about the writers/producers of LHDP and what they might be thinking. Are they questioning some of the decisions they made with regard to PepSi's/Silvia's storyline? Do they wish they had the option to go back and show more of their relationship? If they knew the gravity of the impact that Silvia's death would have amongst fans would they still have chosen to have her die in such a bloody, dramatic fashion?
Dr. Piper commented in a recent PepSilogy lecture about how ridiculous it was that Dr. Felix, a recurring guest character, did a monologue long before Silvia and how this might have been a contributing factor in MA's decision to leave the show - she may have felt underappreciated. I think there's some merit to Dr. P's theory. After all, MA's placement in the credit billing and in cast photos may have been symbolic of how Alex Pina viewed her role on the show - a secondary, background character despite the fact that MA is an extremely talented actress and PepSi single-handedly created an international phenomenon. I wouldn't blame MA if she had doubts as to why she should stay on a show where she may have felt like she wasn't appreciated or valued and the execs weren't doing anything to clear those doubts. Again, this may not have been a factor at all in her decision to leave, but if it was, it leaves me wondering how differently the finale could have turned out if we could just rewind and change some of those things.
From a character perspective, I can see a grieving Pepa wondering, "Is there more I could have done while Silvia was alive?" Should she have waited so long before returning to San Antonio, to Silvia? Should she have just agreed to have a child with Silvia when the subject came up instead of letting her fears and doubts get the best of her? Could she have done more to try and save Silvia on that fateful day?
After July 15, 2009, PepSi fans were trying to find the button to rewind - a way to undo the finale as if it never happened. As S9 approaches, the sky seems darker, grayer, and we're suddenly faced with trying to find a way to live without. Pepa must find a way to live without her wife and we, as viewers, must find a way to live without one of the best couples to ever grace our television.
The thing is, in answering the question "Is it better to have loved than not at all?" I think most PepSi fans and Pepa herself would say "Yes." Because as much as it hurt (and still hurts) to lose Silvia and PepSi, we got to see a beautiful, authentic love story unfold before our eyes, and Pepa got to experience it firsthand. And in a way, we do have the option to rewind. We can re-watch PepSi's story unfold over and over again (minus the finale and for many PepSi fans, the Pepa-Aitor hookup), perhaps viewing it differently each time as we notice new things we may not have picked up on before. Pepa also has the option to rewind - she has her memories of Silvia and the life and love they shared. And as long as those memories exist, the love that existed between them and the feelings that it gave Pepa (and viewers) will never truly die. In that regard, Silvia and PepSi will always live on, and that's why I believe it's better to have loved than not at all.
kalike
*The title for this lecture is based on lyrics from the song "It's Better to Have Loved" by Temposhark.
6 comments:
Jess: K, that lecture was spot on... Beautiful...
ABSOLUTELY YES! GREAT lecture.
to my dear friend, Klaike, I can only say that you are so right. We should never regret loving someone. If it in ends in pain, I still say that the act of receiving and giving love is so worth the possibility of it ending badly-by the mob or a quarrel.
Pepa and Silvia had a second chance and they ran with it. As sad as I am to see their story end, I am glad we had some wonderful loving scenes to enjoy.
I believe that to have the opportunity to love someone, is one of the greatest joys of our lives. Whether that is a child, a parent, friend or lover...to say "I love you" is a gift.
Thanks for an awesome lecture as usual, Counselor.
The question you posed - "is it better to have loved than not at all" - kinda baffles me.
First, if someone has not loved, how would they know they've done better? What's the comparison? It's like telling yourself it is better to have lived than died when you don't really know what death is.
Second, I think it is one of those moot, rhetorical questions, because by the time you ask yourself, you would have already lost, so it is just a pat on your back to ease the pain of being dumped.
So now to PepSi - I don't think Pepa would be asking herself this question since she'd be busy hunting El Gordo and she wouldn't really have the time to wax poetic.
But what the hell do I really know, anyway?
Going with not at all on this one.. Why? Because if you loose that love, you will forever be reminded of what you had and no longer have..
and if you never know love, then you dont know what you are missing.. You dont have anything to lose, any pain to forget..
I agree with the bad way the producers treated Marian, there is a group picture towards the end of S8 and Marian is so far behind, apart from the group, I even thought is because Silvia will die? But Aitor Luna, Gonzalo is up front next to Laura, if I remember correctly. But also Marian seems tired (aburren, she said on a radio interview) of the fans constant overwelhming her. Also Pepa did not RETURN home to St Antonio. Remember the first chapter Paco is sent to St Antonio as punishment, he did not live in St Antonio before, therefore, Pepa neither.
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