by Dr. Pied Piper
*** This is an editorial and should not be construed in any way as the collective view of PepSi University's distinguished faculty***
While the original films describe the dark side as a general concept of evil, the prequel films and Expanded Universe material elaborate on its nature, explaining that it may stem from all strong emotions — even a positive emotion like love, when it fuels associated negative feelings like jealousy, possessiveness, and fear of loss. To avoid this pitfall, the Jedi forsake all passion and emotional attachment, while the evil Sith draw strength from their overpowering feelings
I am very concerned with the situation in the
PepSi Empire. It seems the Darkish Side has taken over and with its emergence has displaced the light hearted, intelligent, innocent spirit of the
PepSi Knights. Having dabbled in the dark side myself, I could honestly say that I am very concerned as this story parallels the history of the Galactic Republic from far, far away:
In Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, a teenaged Anakin begins to feel the pull of the dark side when he falls in love with Padmé Amidala; the Jedi Code forbids such strong emotional attachment as "the shadow of greed". His emotional conflict worsens when his mother is killed by Tusken Raiders, and he slaughters the entire tribe in a blind rage.
In Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Palpatine manipulates Anakin's fear that Padmé, by now his secret wife, will die in childbirth to persuade him into becoming his Sith apprentice. Palpatine first tempts Anakin by challenging the dogmatic view of the world he had learned in the Jedi Temple ("'Good' is a point of view.")
When Palpatine promises that the dark side can prevent death, Anakin becomes his Sith apprentice, Darth Vader, and helps the Sith Lord massacre the Jedi and destroy the Galactic Republic. Mad with power, Vader uses the dark side to choke Padmé into unconsciousness when he suspects that she has betrayed him to Obi-Wan Kenobi, indirectly causing her death; ironically, the dark side brings on the very tragedy Anakin joined the Sith to prevent.
(All quotes from the mighty Wikipedia)
As a
Silvialogist, I share the pain and sadness which afflicted everyone after the dramatic death of Silvia in episode 104. For a brief moment, I too entertained the idea that maybe, I could and should do something. But the reality is
I cannot. It’s like fighting giant windmills and wooing
Dulcinea: neither endeavor was predicated on something real.
Compared to posting a link to Marian’s boobies and giving her an
extra name (i.e., as in
Marian Effing Aguilera) which, I must admit,
are both totally sophomoric and juvenile, I find the current “momentum” disturbing and actually… creepy.
The
Dark Side can prevent death theory: by coordinating postcard campaigns, bombarding emails to anyone and everyone, including
Agent Barbs, and taking an ad in a national Spanish newspaper (
Good Lord!) in order to express one's gratitutude to MA & LS (
which for some is designed to elicit some sort of response), the Darkish Side perpetuates the illusion that
misplaced passion equals real gallantry and that both actresses somehow need our validation to feel good about themselves.
(BTW, postal service in Spain is kind of slow – last year, I sent a postcard to a friend in the US from Montserrat (Catalunya) and it took 3 months for the damn thing to arrive!)
While these actions seem chivalrous to some who have the
arrogance or
naïveté to think that they can unsolicitously affect change in the life of an actress 5,000 miles away, it seems a trifle obsessive to others. (And believe me, I know
Obsessive!)
When did the
PepSi Empire become all about
Marian Aguilera? And how dare us think that she needs our
rescuing? Sure, doing something, anything, is
empowering. But that’s the key: it’s all about
Power.
In a parallel to
Starwars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith – these actions could bring about another tragedy that the
Silvians are desperately trying to circumvent: Marian could very well swear off any gay role, or any gay person, or any gay anything for that matter.
Forever.
Do you want to "save" Silvia or do you want to "save" Marian Aguilera's LHDP gig? If the writers brought back Silvia but portrayed by a totally different actress, would you feel victorious?
There is a difference between being a
consumer of news (e.g., looking at paparazzi pictures of Marian’s boobies), and
becoming the news (e.g., taking out ads and dragging AE into it, calling and writing PepSi’s agents, email-bombing the studios, the producers, the writers, calling for press releases to "highlight the fight", etc.) while encouraging young, naive, impressionable kids into thinking that this behavior is totally okay. It is NOT okay.
And the adults should know better.
A bit cliche, but still a
powerful prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen
We should not give up on the
PepSi Empire and what it stands for, even if it takes us 3 movie sequels to take it back. And that is through continuing intellectual and academic discussions surrounding Pepa and Silvia (with some gratuitous booby pics when available, courtesy of
Sith Pervey Piper, my evil twin).
That is the only way we can save the PepSi Empire and restore harmony in the force.
The sun may never set on the PepSi Empire, but it seems awfully cloudy in there right now.
_______________________
This article was originally published in the Journal of Quantitative Silvialogy: Pot Meets Kettle Edition, July 2009, pp 227-235
Next: “
Ways to Snap Out of It” and “
Silvialogists: Which Kind Are You?”
