"Without You"

Dr. Booker recently informed me that today, 15 July, marks the one year anniversary of Silvia's death. That's right. It's been exactly one year since the worst wedding ever, and the good Doc asked me to write something in memoriam of la pelirroja. Admittedly, I was hesitant to oblige her request. After all, I'm not a Silvialogist expert like Dr. Piper. But, I can never say no to a request by Dr. B, so here I am, making an attempt to put something together that is hopefully fitting and worthy of another great doctor: Silvia Castro Leon. And yes, I know she's not real, but this is PepSi U, so over here she's completely legit.

Given how much Silvia has been analyzed and discussed here at the uni - 65 Silvialogy lectures, roughly 8 Silvia-centric lectures by Dr. B, and an entire lecture series devoted solely to our favorite forensics inspector - I initially thought I made a huge mistake when I agreed to Dr. B's request (I still might have). I mean, what could I possibly say that hasn't already been said about Silvia? But inspiration struck as I was watching the World Cup semifinal match between Germany and Spain (Congrats to La Furia Roja by the way on winning their first World Cup!). One of the things the commentators focused on was the absence of German player Thomas Müller, who was forced to miss the game after acquiring a controversial 2nd yellow card in the quarterfinals match against Argentina. Much was said about how the German team would be affected by Müller's absence - what they would be losing without him on the pitch and what they would need to do to compensate for that loss. All of this got me thinking about Silvia and what LHdP lost without her on the show.

For PepSi fans, the loss was blatantly obvious - there was no more PepSi without the "Si" - and as I stated before, the uni faculty has already done an excellent job writing about Silvia's absence in that context. But if one were to examine the show at large, the ramifications of Silvia's death were much, much larger than Pepa's loss of her wife.

Silvia wasn't perfect. Her personal life was as crazy and neurotic as the rest of the Castro-Miranda family. But at work Silvia was very rational and professional, and she often brought some much-needed logic to balance out the wild and craziness that was Los hombres de Paco. Whatever problems she may have had with Lucas or Pepa, she (almost) never let it affect her professionally - her job was something she took very seriously. Perhaps it was because work was her escape, her safe haven from whatever personal issues she may have been dealing with at the time. Perhaps it was one of the few places where things always made sense or could be explained in black and white scientific terms, something she couldn't always find amongst her colorful family. Whatever the reason, Silvia's dedication to her job made her an excellent forensics inspector - the person the Pacos could turn to time and time again when they needed something concrete (and legitimate) to back up whatever far-fetched theory they concocted. And Silvia delivered every time.

Despite what you all may think about him, Deker was also a good forensics inspector. Whether you loved or hated his attitude (and his infatuation with Pepa), like Silvia, Deker was also good at his job. Now, before you all get your pitchforks out to attack me, I do have a "but". Deker was a good forensics inspector but he still couldn't fill the void left by Silvia's death, because he didn't have (and could never have) the one thing Silvia had from the start: her personal connection and history to Paco and the hombres.

Silvia grew up with Don Lorenzo as her father, so she knew all about his mannerisms and his mood swings. She knew how to talk to him to calm him down or to rationalize a point to him in order to gain his compliance. Silvia also spent a great deal of her life around Paco, and if he were to approach Silvia with the idea that Satan was killing people and only he could stop him, Silvia...well Silvia would've thought Paco was nutters. But, Silvia would have also tried to find a rational, scientific way to prove or disprove Paco's theory, and she would have talked to him in a way that would've been helpful and supportive (see Ep. 109). This is something that Deker could never accomplish no matter how good of a forensics inspector he was, because Deker didn't share a father-daughter bond with Don Lorenzo or a brother-sister bond with Paco. He was also never Sabina's godmother, nor did he spend years working alongside Pove, Curtis and Rita. This lack of a connection - the history that Silvia shared with the Pacos, both personal and professional - is what the show truly lost without her. And in some ways I think that when Silvia died, the personal connections between all the characters - the heart of the show - died as well.

Did life go on? Of course, and unfortunately we have 13 episodes to prove that. Every day until his retirement, Don Lorenzo woke up and tried his best to govern a bunch of crazy cops. Pove woke up every morning trying to overcome the daily fears that plagued his life. Curtis and Rita continued to scrounge around for some decent screentime. Aitor got up every day trying to find a new relationship he could ruin. Pepa continued to have the best job ever by getting paid without having to actually do any real police work. Paco continued to stumble his way through solving crimes. Okay, he stumbled his way through the stupidest scheme ever to get people to go to church, but there was (very minimal) police work involved. And for four months many of us continued to watch S9 against our better judgment. So sure, life went on, and the show went on. But the connections that made it great, the connections that helped make it a success? Many of those died exactly one year ago with Silvia. And eventually the show found that it couldn't go on, that it was dying without those relationships...without her.

kalike

*The title for this lecture is based on the song "Without You" from the Broadway musical Rent.

Piper's Commentary:

When Silvia died one year ago, many of us felt a visceral reaction, like someone real actually died.  I cried.  I don't know of many who didn't.  One year later, I am still flabbergasted at our collective grief over the death of a TV character.

There are some who started their Pepsilogy lessons at the end: their introduction was the death of Silvia on her wedding day, which in turn piqued their interest in this awesome love story. 

But there are also many of us who followed PepSi from the beginning.  Through the flirtations and smoldering looks, through the first kiss and the first love scene.  And I don't really know what it was, but we waited each week with bated breath for the next installment of this story.  It became more than a TV show.  Nope, we were more than mere spectators of this unfolding love story.  We claimed the pair for ourselves, like a prized secret affair that no one else in your real life knew about.  We shared their angsts, seductions, denials.  And when they fell in love, so did we.

And for some, *cough* Dr Piper *cough*, we watched the "Si" even before the "Pep" - and completely fell in love with this flawed person who was looking for redemption.  As KC said, we have an entire collection of Silvialogy lectures, beginning from when Silvia walked into the Comisaria (and into our hearts) for the first time wearing an oversized police uniform.  We watched her broken engagements, her blind devotion to Lucas, her very loving relationship with her older sister, her tepid involvement with Montoya.  We watched her get shot, we watched her finally freed from the demons of her past.  She was a study in contrast: vulnerable and brave, independent and obsessive, gentle and fierce.  And we loved her for it.

Is it any wonder then why the collective grief over the death of a TV character was so palpable? 

They say time heals all wounds.  I say time doesn't necessarily heal, it just allows you to get used to the idea of being wounded.  One year later, are still wounded.  We've just forgotten that we are.

Thank you, Marian, for giving us Silvia.